Being scared is good. It forces you to look at the problem and try to find solutions to whatever is taking the be-jesus out of you.

Being scared, knowing the solution but not enacting it, that it just plain stupidity.

Scotland has the highest number of redheads of any country in the world

11% of the population has either red or ginger hair.

If you want me I'll be in Edinburgh.

The coolest guy on the internet?

Metal man

From the Wikipedia article on Cybermen (the real scary ones not the angry pepper pots):

The Cybermen are a fictional race of cyborgs

As apposed to the real life race of cyborgs?

I have lived in this house for nine years (minus six months out of the country running from the law) and only today have I noticed the temperature knobs on the oven are the same as the gas knobs on the hobs.

Does anyone else punctuate their text messages?

I have been reading wikipedia for five hours straight.

Without my glasses.

I'm going out of my mind.

It's a rather unpleasant sensation.

I've read about things from the Cold War to the Richard Dawkins Award.

Slapping myself across the face has no effect what so ever.

It feels like when some body interupts you before you yawn so you stop yawning, and then you can't yawn afterwards.

Most unpleastant.

That's it! I'm having a moan!

I'm trying to get my hands on a light weight racing road bike to get me from house A to train station B.

Last night I went to bed knowing that in the morning I would put a bid in for a bike located in Birmingham (this is all on eBay).

Got up this morning to find that the bastard had ended the auction early, around about the time I went to bed the previous evening. I was pissed off.

Looking on eBay again, the only bikes in my price range are located in either Portsmouth, London or the bit of land between Manchester and Leeds. All rather out of the 'pick up only' range.

Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.
Pissed off.

Yes. I know. It's childish.

But I'm showing you anyway

I have new heros

Part I
Part II
Part III

If you couldn't care less about the Creationist Inteligent Design vs Evolution 'debate' DO NOT CLICK THE LINKS!

Ladies and Gentlement, I (edit: word removed incase I look back in a year and cringe).

Here's my second program ever.

After many tears this thing finally works. It's a tutor for times tables up to the 10 times table (bigger numbers can be broken down).


===========
import java.util.Random;
import java.util.Scanner;

class TimesTableTutor{
public static void main(String args[]){
Scanner myScanner = new Scanner(System.in);
Random myRandom = new Random();

int firstRandom, secondRandom, answer;
boolean anotherQuestion=true;
char c;

while(anotherQuestion==true){
firstRandom=myRandom.nextInt(10)+1;
secondRandom=myRandom.nextInt(10)+1;

System.out.print("What is ");
System.out.print(firstRandom);
System.out.print(" x ");
System.out.print(secondRandom);
System.out.println("?");

answer=myScanner.nextInt();

while(answer!=firstRandom*secondRandom){
System.out.println("That's not quite right");
System.out.println("Have another go");
answer=myScanner.nextInt();
}
System.out.println("Well Done");
System.out.println("Would you like another question?");

c=myScanner.findInLine(".").charAt(0);

if(c=='y'||c=='Y'){
anotherQuestion=true;
}else{
anotherQuestion=false;
}
}
}
}
===========

Today is the day that is after yesterday.

{
One book I bought day completely messed up the shear intricate-rube goldberg organism that is my bookshelf. The only solution to this was to strip the bookshelf bear and start from the square usually known as one.

Incredibly all books went back onto the shelf with room to spare. My bookshelf is now aesthetic poetry in straight lines, right angles, order and cascading book heights.

Conclusion: I rule.
}

{
The simple program I'm writing in Java to make hyperlinks out of URLs and 'comments' is so full of bugs that the bastard won't compile. It throws things at me like " 'j' expected" which makes no sense to me. And it won't let except "s inside of comments that are rather important when writing hyperlinks.

Conclusion: I suck.
}

Conclusion: I can look forward to a life of shelf stacking and not of master hacker as I had planned.

Spider babies

I'm sure not many people have seen this before. Where spiders come from, with all their hundreds of brothers and sisters








Update: my dad killed them all because he doesn't like spiders.

John Ward, British-born inventor of the bra-warmer, hand-held portable barbeque and simulated miniature marine mine to prevent others from stealing your cup of tea.