Tonight I have (dramatic pause)

eaten my last piece of chocolate until christmas.

I've just seen my dad put salt over peanut butter on toast

How do I stop him from having a heart attack?

In a recent poll women were asked what the sexiest profession a man could have was. What was number one?

Carpenter.

I'm sorry Mr. Fry, that is incorrect.

You might have seen an episode of QI that somehow got around to the names of countries in Chinese. The Chinese name for England was given as "country of heroes". While this is a direct translation, it is an incorrect interpretation.

England in Chinese script looks like this:


The character on the left means hero, and the one on the right means country. Ok, so what am I complaining about?

The Chinese word for hero (in pinyin) is 'ying' which is pronounced roughly as the 'ing' in England.

The hero bit is just a sound borrowing and a coincidence. If back in ancient times ying came to mean something else, like kidneys, then the Chinese name for England would have been kidney country.

A masterful ending.

The final half of this season's Doctor Who has been surprisingly good.

The two parter when the Doc became human was moving.

Blink, the one with the angels was simply brilliant.

The return of Cap'n Jack would always make a great episode.

Now half way into the end of season two part finale the tension has been ramped up to breaking point. But if the previous two seasons is anything to go by the story has been ramped up so much that now there is no resolution except for the lowest of the low writing technique deus ex machina.

Please Mr. Davis, no Time-Vortex's or Strange Goo, round this series off in the trend that has started.




Or else.

Laser Magician

-

Your Score: hyphen

You scored 46% Sociability and 41% Sophistication!

You are comfortable around others. While you don't have to go out every night, yet you take pride in being easy to get along with. This should not, however, be misconstrued as believing (as many do) that you are without subtlety. In fact, you have the power to inform the anal retentive that, indeed, they are discussing an anal-retentive issue. Who else can do that? Quotation marks intimidate you a little bit.

Link: The Which Punctuation Mark Are You Test written by Gazda on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Penguins ^_^

I ♥ Firefox Spell Checker

She graded

Then why the sad face?

I hate humans

1 Yeti = 2822 eyes

It's true

I said well done to a girl that didn't pass grading.

At the end of the lesson she said well done to me as I had got my orange belt, and social retard that I am said well done in return as she had also been at the grading today.

The look on her face after I said it made me look at her belt, which was not the next grade up. And then I remembered the look on her face.

I feel terrible.

The roof! My roof! My roof is on fire! Oh shit!

Have you ever listened to evening commercial radio on Fridays and Saturdays? On all of those that I have listened to there is always dance music that I have been informed they play in night clubs.

I don't think this is representative of where the DJs are.

What is the point of playing dance music on the radio?

All the people who want to listen to that kind of music at that time of the day are going to be at the night clubs.

If they aren't at the clubs maybe they are having a house party? Free music. Familiar surroundings. Toilets that are probably approaching hygienic. Sounds good. But how good would it really sound when one minute you're raving and then the next minute you're listening about thrush treatments and being asked if you've had an accent in the last 12 months that wasn't your fault.

I don't know if you can pogo or (insert relevant term here) to Vaginox.

Which leaves me and the Saturday Night In Crew. I don't want to try to sleep to umph-umph-umph-umph-umph-umph-umph-umph-umph, overlaid with a synthesizer on acid and shouts to someone called Ibitha.

How hard would it be for the radio station to put their music library on random play at 7pm on Friday and leave it until Monday morning?

I found this on the blog of a 16 year old boy who shares the same name as my dad

G- You never let people tell you what to do.
A- Damn good kisser
R- fucking sexy.
E-You have one of the best personalites ever.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.

Y- The bst gf/bf anyone could eva v
E-You have one of the best personalites ever.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
I- You get hyper easily.

A- Damn good kisser
B- Good all around person
C- You're wild 'n crazy
D- You have a nice ass.
E-You have one of the best personalites ever.
F- People totally adore you
G- You never let people tell you what to do.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.
I- You get hyper easily.
J- Everyone loves you.
K- You like to try new things
L- Lovable in everyway
M- success comes easily to you
N- you are absolutely beautiful
O- ur AN AWESOME PERSON!
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- fucking sexy.
S- easy to fall in love with.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
U- You really like to chill.
V- You are not judgemental.
W- You are very broad minded.
X- You never let ppl tell u wat to do
y- The bst gf/bf anyone could eva v
Z- You like it in the butt VERY VERY HARD



For those who are wondering, I found the titular boy using this website

Sympathetic detonation

A recent episode of Balderdash & Piffle (Victoria Coren: phwoar) had the topic of euphemisms with an article on war euphemisms. One of these, as you might have guessed from the title was 'Sympathetic detonation'. It means, for example, all the munitions in a tank being detonated by a separate explosion, like a flying chuck of shell shaped metal.

A retired colonel whose name I won't reveal partly out of protecting his identity and mainly because I've forgotten it was talking about this and mentioned that a sympathetic detonation is not a very sympathetic thing to happen.

Well yes, not for the crew inside the tank, or any people in the vicinity of another example. But that's not the correct meaning of sympathetic.

Sympathy in the way Rt. Col. Anonymous means is feeling empathy for another human being. The sympathy in 'sympathetic detonation' is the same as the sympathy in 'resonating in sympathy'.

The explosives blow up because that original explosion blew up.