27. Just one cow gives off enough harmful methane gas in a single day to fill around 400 litre bottles.

Or put another way, cows produce 400 litres of methane a day.

Why, at completely random times, do I smell something like strawberry shampoo?

Well it isn't me.

One day there will be a santa

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Viscount Gareth the Introspective of Longer Interval Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

I hate leap years

They made programming the code behind the 'Time in days: ' thing on the right so much harder when I trying to do it in my head. Fell to writing it out on paper in the end.

Anyway:

The size of my pride in that counter can be measured in leap years.

The actual achievement of that counter can be measured in femtometres.

If I understand the term correctly, my pride is a thirty-orders-of-magnitude exaggeration.

No pill nor patch

Christmas time can be a very difficult time for me, you see I have an allergy to Boney M.

Most of the year it's quite easy to avoid their music, if one of their tunes does come on the radio the intro is usually enough time for me to switch the radio off. But with christmas time comes the song 'Mary's Boy Child'. Radio and TV, not a problem, but sometimes it's played somewhere public, like malls, and it's impossible to get away from it.

First there is a small itch that starts out at the bottom of my spine, then climbs up my backbone and down my limbs. When this has consumed by body and raised my pulse a searing pain erupts in my belly like someone has stabbed me with a stiletto of calypso. Just before a red mist comes down in my vision and I pass out a scream of a thousand demons escaping hell ruptures from my exploding lungs.

When I come to I'm surrounded by the bodies.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Sure, they look like a group of dodgy car salesmen but boy, can they sing

(Embedding the player was disabled for some reason in this one)

Smart people

Richard Dawkins


Doug Thomas

New favourite quote

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, didn't work that way. So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me.

-Emo Phillips

Captain Yeti's Adventures In The Meatspace

Captain Yeti enters a McDonalds 'Resturant' Establishment.

Counter girl: Next please.

Captain Yeti: Large chocolate milkshake please.

Counter girl: Mint chocolate?

Captain Yeti: Chocolate.

Counter girl: And what size?

Captain Yeti: Large

Counter girl gets the beverage

What did I get? Well I can only assume that girl had a quota to accomplish.

Domestic Halflives

What is the half life of a set of glasses (the things you drink out of, not the things that go on your nose) ?

Today marks t=0 for a set of seven glasses.

I shall report back when four of them have been smashed/cracked/decayed/generally taken out of service.

Every so often

there is a song I find on YouTube that I listen to on a loop, most of them I post on here, this is no exception.



The look she pulls right at the end is brilliant.

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My name Marain

Oh! the irony.

  

They had to shoot it twice: the first time there was no film in the camera.

I had to retire them.

Public service announcement

There is a mouse running around on the first floor of Waterstones (the huge one) in Birmingham near the Sci-Fi section (where else would I be?).

What is the one thing you don't want the guy sitting next to you on the bus to say?

"I'm going to anger management day"

I got off at the next stop

Oh! the irony

At the front of Yeto trains there is a section called the 'Quiet Zone'. This is where if you use a mobile phone or sneeze too loudly you are hung draw and quartered by your fellow commuters.

When men are working on the rails the train sounds a (very loud) horn to let everyone know it's coming.

The horn is also at the front of the train.

End of an era

Some of those cards had been on there since the first christmas back from America, almost five years.