The junk on telly

So next week sees Channel 4 broadcasting a program called 'Going Cold Turkey'. In Channel 4's latest freak show we see a group of heroin addicts, as the name suggests, eat cold left overs.

Ho ho how I jest.

Having seen one advert for the program I can extrapolate certain features about the event:

It will be hosted by Davina McCall;

The group will be in the domain of the pimp of pimps Big Daddy;

Each night viewers will vote which member of the group will be kicked out and forced to go it alone, camera crew in tow;

At least 75% of the call charge will go to the RSPCA;

Big Daddy will set tasks such as a bottle of morphine will be dangled in front of the persons eyes via a stick attached their forehead while their arms are tied behind their back. Or several packets of C17H17NO will be locked in a safe and group members are given a selection of implements to get into the safe (and if that is accomplished to be used on each other). The purpose of this for the viewers’ entertainment, any therapy gained by the group is a bonus;

Throughout the program pop-psychologists will talk about something, probably made up, while holding their CVs up to the camera;

The last person not on the streets wins £100,000 worth of smack.



You laugh now. You just wait.